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Hey everyone, soundwave here
So about damnum, honestly the whole thing is meant to tell a story, even the album cover. Some context, a few years ago, when I was 18, fresh out of high-school, for various reasons I had to get a job and sustain myself and my mother. These reasons, I might elaborate on another day. Anyway, this job was very draining mentally and paid horribly, which caused me to basically scrape by paycheck-to-paycheck every month. Now that you have some context, on with the track.
Let's start with the cover, if you notice, on the top, there's a sequence of numbers, 0111 and 2018. This is in reference to when I started working this job, I don't remember the exact date for that, but I know it was sometime in November 2018. The sandwich and coffee are in reference to literal sandwiches I used to buy for dinner back then. Why? I hear you ask, because the company I worked at gave a small daily allowance of about $3 at their cafeteria and given money was real tight, they came in a real clutch. The nighttime city in the back is in reference to my shift, and the view I had whilst eating said sandwiches. I worked a night shift, on a tall building, hence the view.
At the very start of the track, I made the melody as washed out as I could, to encapsulate what I was feeling at the time. Before 2018, I had ideas/plans of how my life would be post high-school, all the stuff I wanted to do, goals and such, but none of it panned out, causing all of that to just become more and more distant and faded. Then, the sudden silence is the uncertainty I had (still kinda do lol) of what was next. When the bass hits, it's the grind. Wake up, work, sleep, repeat. But then, a melody starts creeping in. That melody is meant to symbolize me making music. Making music and holding on to that, is what got me through the grind. Its meant to be my days off, when I worked on tracks the most, when it was just me and my tracks, and yeah, work was there, in the back of my head. Then the build-up, that's supposed to be me, getting tracks ready, and sending them to labels. Nervous of what they might say, and hopefully one would say yes, to somehow get me out of the hole I was. The drop is an expression of having my demos heard, giving my all in each track, despite my hopes and motivation dwindling. If I could give an image of that, it would be as if a dancer, with bullet holes and bleeding out, danced to a panel of judges.
Oooo that's a good analogy, let's stick with that. The lone melody after the drop, is this dancer, still performing, and the judges leaving one by one, in reality this really is just me being rejected over and over again (i mean my music WAS shit back then lol).
I added bit crush to "corrupt" the sound. keeping with the analogy, imagine this dancer, falling, and tripping, until ultimately, he's laying on the floor, immobile. This is very much my hope of ever achieving anything. I got to a point where I gave up, like the dancer, my hopes died. After some silence, we can hear the melody, with a very, very, "broken" synth. This is imagine, the dancer, trying to get up. This is me, making music, many times not even full tracks or stuff I put out, but just loops I later deleted, even when I felt empty, and completely hopeless.
Hence the title, Damnum, its latin for loss.
But then, you can hear another synth coming in, taking over the broken one. This is meant to symbolize my girlfriend. Like Meatboy, she's my bandage girl. Keeping again with the analogy, imagine an angel lifts up the dancer, and he dances with all his strength, with no wounds, no blood. She has motivated me so many times, and has inspired me to keep going, and not give up. Truth be told, she's the reason damnum exists and this video exists too.
Then, the build-up, the build-up is the dancer and the angel, dancing together. Which translates to her presence in my life. She has made my life exciting, full of energy, and has given me new perspectives on all my troubles. The drop is that. New perspective. The dancer now dances with the angel, with no judges. I now do this for myself, and her, no one else. And ever since she gave me that perspective, I'm much happier, and feel motivated to make new music, and take on new projects.
The ending melody is the exact same one as the begging, but healed, clearer, and new.
So yeah, that's Damnum's story. I hope this video entertained you, hopefully got you to laugh a bit, and I hope you enjoyed the track. You can find links to damnum for some of the major streaming services, and a link to my neocities page. I'll be posting my yap sessions there first, given videos take a good while to make, and you can also download all my music completely for free from there, too!
That's about it, thanks for watching and listening, and I hope you have a nice day or evening! Soundwave out.